Posted by: writingwitch2013 | March 11, 2015

VisDare 89 Aware: Waiting.

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VisDare challenge 150 words on the picture
I enjoyed this weeks picture prompt, and wrote it just after taking off from Krakow airport miles above Poland.

WAITING

I saw the cat in the wall cavity.
A black cat.
Watching.
I looked around to see if another one of the team had also seen it, but they showed no signs of noticing, certainly no outward signs.
I shivered.
I knew it was there, but there was something else.
Watching.
Leonard read my body language.
He scowled. I knew he wanted to be the first to see something, and he resented my being more aware. New kid on the block, and all that!
He called the ‘Time team’ over to dismantle that part of the wall, his instructions given in apologetic tones, implied it could be a waste of time.
Despite the activity around the wall I sensed something else.
Watching.
Waiting.
They scraped, chipped and moved stone and mortar.
A cry heralded the find; a mummified cat.
Then I looked up and saw ‘the something else.’
The witch!

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Responses

  1. Great. Just one thought, I would have ended it ‘then I looked up and saw’. Just saying… 😉

    • Thanks Carol… Yes, to fit 150 words I had the ending changing about half a dozen times. In the end I decided to repeat a ‘phrase/description’ from the tale, but it could have gone either way. I am enjoying doing the flash fiction to a tight word count count. It makes you work harder at looking through the words to edit them out 🙂

  2. Hi! I thoroughly enjoyed your piece! You fit so much into 150 words: tension, mystery, and a twist… Really good! 🙂

    • Thanks Victoria. I do find it a challenge making a story from 150 words, but I really enjoyed this weeks challenge 🙂


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