Posted by: writingwitch2013 | March 22, 2015

Bits of me are missing!

imageI saw a post on face book this morning.

‘Damaged women are more dangerous, because they already know how to survive’

I’m sure the post was meant to be a reference to possibly a relationship problem or an abuse etc but I took it to be a women who had been disfigured somewhere by having bits cut out. Having had various ops including a hysterectomy at 31 yrs and lumpectomy and lymphectomy at 49 yrs I saw myself as damaged physically.
Looking at the body that way does all sorts of things to your head, besides making you feel ugly and unwomanly, it saps your confidence and lowers your self esteem. Add to that pot a huge dose of Fibromyalgia, and confidence is nil, self esteem barely there and helplessness and worthlessness heavily flavour the concoction.

I bought a fridge magnet after my breast cancer op, it says

I am not a complete idiot…Bits of me are missing!

You may not see my illness, but you can not see my strength either… Because of those bits that are missing I am still here and a survivor.
It took me a while to realise something that my best friend always saw in me. She always likened me to the Lion in the tarot strength card.. And after and through my cancer treatment often pointed that out.
I didn’t see it at the time, but looking back, I have adapted and still moved forward. It wasn’t easy, but nothing worthwhile ever is. I have changed my main hobbies, started out on a new, and not yet successful (but there is still time), career in writing.

Things may knock me down, but I get right back up and fight as soon as I am able….

A huge thank you to my best friend Anne, partner in crime and encourager of a slacking writer, for keeping me going in the difficult times as well as our fun times. xx

A big thank you to the Facebook friends who moved from virtual to real, and I meet up and chat to them regularly.x

To the friend I met on Facebook and now write to across the miles and channel, Ted and I think of you often, as do the trunkies x

To the writing group in Liverpool, The Poised Pen and the girls there, who have accepted me as a friend despite my awful Christmas rap ! Ha ha ha, oh dear God, how bad was that? and I’d only been to three meetings when I attempted it too! *still blushing.x

To the fibromyalgia support group that I joined just before Christmas. I know I am not alone when symptoms flare.x

And thanks to many friends on Facebook, who listen and virtual hug, so that is possible to bounce back and fight the lows, in a much shorter time than 4 years ago (when I joined fb)

I send love and hugs to all my friends who have been there for me in all ways, big and small. Love you all x

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Responses

  1. you have been such a good friend to me over the years, and i repay you by nagging, ah well you cant have everything :). I think your amazing courage through your bad times have been a real inspiration to me and others, i dont know how you keep on top of it at times, but like a true friend i wont let you wallow, i just nag :),xxx

    • Keep on nagging Anne…it will worry me of you don’t … Lol x

      • And when I type ‘of’ I meant ‘if’ doh! πŸ™‚ good job you aren’t the grammar police too πŸ™‚

  2. Even more hugs. πŸ˜€ xx


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